


Ache

by zesulin



Series: The Doubting Apostate Flees [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Pre-Slash, Trans Fenris, Trans Male Character, anders does a lot of nervous talking, bigender anders, cw unsafe binding, lovingly nicknamed 'the bengay fic', talks of safe binding, there will be more, trans talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:32:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3833692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zesulin/pseuds/zesulin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was well known that Fenris was a sloucher. The man had always had poor posture as long as Anders had known him (It was verging on, what, six years now? Seven?), his shoulders constantly hunched forwards and standing in that damned slouched position. </p><p>In which Fenris has back pain, Anders is concerned, and Hawke mothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ache

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this is an awful horrible pile of steaming garbage I wrote way too early in the morning while I was having a feeling and rubbing Bengay on my back enjoy and let me know what you think pls be gentle I am but a baby boy

It was well known that Fenris was a sloucher. The man had always had poor posture as long as Anders had known him (It was verging on, what, six years now? Seven?), his shoulders constantly hunched forwards and standing in that damned slouched position. Anders swore it was the sword (or, perhaps, the very weight of all his bitterness pressing down on him. Ha!) But it was only recently that the elf started complaining about intense back pain, unable to walk as far as he usually did, and sometimes even turning down Hawke on missions-- virtually unheard of from him. It was making him unable to fight as fiercely as usual, and he was sick of having to clean up after him. Definitely not worried at all. Definitely not.

Which was why he certainly wasn't making a poultice that afternoon, mixing wintergreen oil and various types of mint into a thick paste in his mortar, and enchanting it into a soothing balm that would first cool, and then warm. Wonders for the muscles. Really. He was being very generous, especially for someone he wasn't fond of, to say the least, though it was quite possible that Hawke had had something to do with him bothering. Damn rogue. Damn insistent worrying.  
As he finished crushing the leaves and began carefully packing the mixture into a small glass jar, the door to his clinic screeched loudly on it's rusty hinges, making the mage jump. 

"Sorry-- Sorry, just give me a moment, I'll be right with you." he called, barely tossing a glance over his shoulder as he finished jarring the poultice, hands still smelling strongly of mint and feeling like they'd just been dipped in ice water. The patient only grunted, and the creak of someone sitting down on a cot sounded across the room. Anders turned, smiling calmly, and then fighting a frown a moment later--

Ah. Speak of the devil. 

"Fenris. Is there something you need." 

The elf grunted again, a gauntled hand hovering just over his rib cage, mouth twisted into a grimace. "I have cracked a rib, I believe. Hawke advised me to come see you."  
"I'm sure you wouldn't on your own." Anders said under his breath, approaching the elf. Leave it to Hawke to let again pull strings and get into other people's business...though with Fenris, he supposed, it was a different story. He'd been having a hard time since they'd encountered Hadriana and discovered Danarius was on his trail once again. No doubt the man would be a bit unhinged by that.

"Do you know which rib is cracked?" Anders asked, sitting down beside the elf at a comfortable distance. 

"It is lower, on the left side." he shifted, gesturing with a taloned hand.

"Right. It would be best if you took off your armor and tunic, it would be easier for me to heal you that way." At this, Fenris hesitated, his jaw tightening and fists clenching just slightly, enough so that Anders could hear the click of metal on metal. The mage frowned, pursing his lips. "Or you could continue to have a cracked rib. Come on, it's not as if you have anything I've never seen." the warrior only grunted in response, before beginning to remove his armor, tense the whole while.  
After a few minutes, Fenris carefully pulled his tunic over his head, revealing a toned torso covered in even more of the peculiar markings that lined his arms and throat. But what caught the mage's attention more than the markings were the tight bandages wrapped around the elf's chest, digging into his flesh and leaving chaffing under his arms. Anders couldn't help but stare, even as Fenris grunted, and then cleared his throat. 

"...Ah. Hmm." The mage shook his head a bit, refocusing on the task at hand. It wasn't as if he'd never seen someone like this-- he'd had patients here and there who were similar, not identifying as what had been assigned to them at birth (and admittedly, he himself could relate to a degree. He'd never felt entirely a man.) "...Perhaps these are the issue? This isn't healthy." 

"Pardon?"

"The bandages. It's no wonder you've been griping about back pain, these would wreck havok on your back muscles. Not to mention crack a rib." The elf only grunted, his posture becoming more defensive than it had already been. 

"I am....aware. What I usually use has broken." 

"Maker's breath, if it means you stop wearing these, by all means, let me fix it."

"I doubt you have the tools."

"I could figure something out, I'm sure." Anders' gaze flicked up to meet the elf's, his brows knit in concern. "We may have our differences, Fenris, but you can't just go on like this. You could hurt yourself badly..." 

There was a long stretch of astonished silence from Fenris before he finally replied, his voice quiet. "...You have my thanks, Mage."

"...Now, I think it would be best if you took those off. You can wear your tunic to cover up, I won't...look or anything, just...Maker, can you breathe?"

"Mostly...Look away."  
-

Once Fenris had put his tunic back on and rolled it up so that Anders could inspect his cracked rib, the mage began to heal him, warm tendrils of healing magic flowing through his hands and into Fenris' side. The markings that marred his skin called out and sang, stirring Justice in the back of his mind and making them hum softly, reminding them of home. The two were quiet, a subtle tension now that Anders seemed to know Fenris' secret. 

"...How long have you known?" Anders asked eventually, unable to stand the uneasy silence much longer.

"Pardon, mage?"

"Known you were a man." Fenris shifted at the question, glancing down at the healer, who sat close to him on the dirt floor. Pondering, it took him a long moment to answer.

"Since before I escaped Danarius." 

"Did you keep it a secret?"

"I was not largely considered a person, rather more like an animal. My gender was not much a question to my masters."

"That's horrible." when Fenris replied only with a grunt, Anders continued, "In the Circle, there was little consideration for people like us. Generally we wore unisex clothing, but having to sleep in gendered dormitories was...stressful. I didn't always feel safe."

"'Like us'?"

"...Yes." Anders shifted, drawing his hand away as the last of the bruising disappeared under his spell. "I've never felt...wholly a man. That is to say, I suppose I've always felt like both a man and a woman, though there are days when I feel more feminine than masculine, and vice versa."  
Fenris seemed surprised as he spoke, staying in place, despite his healing being done. "I...see." there was a pause, "...What should I call you." 

"Anders works all the time. Though there are days when I prefer 'she' over 'he'." he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've never told anyone this. I never expected I would, much less to you." his smile faded once more as he grew more serious, meeting Fenris' gaze. "...If you ever...want to talk about that, I suppose...I'd be here to listen. Something we have in common." 

Fenris seemed to consider it for a long moment, before giving him a curt nod and moving to stand. The mage followed. 

"Yes. I think I would...appreciate that, mage. You have my thanks, once again." Fenris ducked his head, a smile lingering on the edge of his lips. "Hawke also mentioned you had a poultice for me."

Anders made a face, glancing back at the jar still sitting on his table. 

"Of course she did."


End file.
